Thursday, January 22, 2015


Sometimes being a Christian is hard. I feel inadequate and like a confused kindergartner from another country.

These people that can spout verses at the drop of a hat. How??? Why??? I can't do that. I can barely remember a verse I just read. I know a few but it takes effort for me and sometimes it makes me feel so discouraged. Scared. Meek. And, well, dumb. 

I've attended churches most of my life, but I'm feeling like, while I was there physically, mentally and spiritually, I was a million miles away.

However, I have this hunger for learning. I want to read and learn more of His word. It looks different on different days. Not any one thing works for me. sometimes u want to read the Bible. Sometimes I want to hear it. Read a Bible study. Use an app. It always varies. But I'm learning. And praying. And through God's infinite grace, I will arrive in a place that feels like my spiritual center. Or at least I'll be on the same map.

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