Feeling defeated but not down

September seems to always be a rough month for me. I broke an ankle as a teenager in September, cracked scar tissue in it a few years later in September (which resulted in an emergency surgery), had an emergency appendectomy in September and almost died. Broken relationships seem to have a September theme as well.

Good things about September? The two jobs I've had that have changed me the most both started in September. My current one I just celebrated my one year a couple of weeks ago.

September is hard. September is full of changes. School starts back, new jobs start for graduates, the weather becomes even more temperamental (I live in Texas, the weather will go from 100+ to thunderstorms in seconds).

But I need to look at September in a new way. In a way that may bring changes, and new developments, new opportunities. I know part of my dilemma is that I have some health issues that are just completely disrupting my life.

I will continue to pray, and get back to my small group and church group. Pray to get my life back in order and for the guidance to do so.

I meant to publish this last week but a cold got the better of me so multi-tasking became my weakness. 

Prayer

Taken from: http://www.stacatholic.org/pray

This hasn't always been the easiest thing for me. There are days when I don't feel like I'm worthy of praying or talking to God. Like he won't listen to me because I've sinned too much. 

Some days, I find myself pausing to pray randomly throughout the day and night. Then some other days, I forget. That sounds horrible! How many times have you caught yourself forgetting to pray? 

Then there is everyone telling us that we should pray a certain way, or not ask God for things, or that we have to speak to God a certain way. From my understanding, from Bible verses, as well as studies I've read, God doesn't want us to treat him with this ultimate reverence and like a stranger. He doesn't want us to speak to him like someone we don't know. We should speak to God as our Father; with respect, yes, but with our heart and minds open.  With love and hope and happiness. 

When I pray, there is not much rhyme or reason. I thank God for things blessings I have received, and I end it thanking for Jesus. 

James 4:2 We have not because we ask not.

Psalm 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Currently reading

As I've mentioned before, and is probably pretty obvious, I'm a bookworm. As such, I cannot read one book at a time exclusively. I flip back and forth much to everyone arounds chagrin. The question "what are you reading right now?" creates a hive like sensation and I have no idea how geeky or weird they are about to think I am when I can't give a straight answer. So, at the moment here are the books I'm reading.

You're Already Amazing by Holley Gerth. My favorite thing about her writing? Combination of Faith, personal experiences, and psychological research. Things the Psychology major, and research geek, love!

The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst is an interesting book so far. It's pretty new, so I haven't had a chance to finish but it mostly revolves around not spreading yourself too thin and knowing "When to say Yes."

I've been really interesting in exploring paths that make a difference, as well as books on leadership and motivation. Blake Mycoskie's Start Something that Matters is perfect for all of these reasons! It explores what motivated him to start TOMS, and his entrepreneurship.

I love to read and welcome book suggestions! I read pretty much anything so let me know!





Here are some other places to find me online:

petitetexasmama.blogspot.com
A blog that's mostly Health/Wellness related.

twitter.com/christie17

instagram.com/christie177